I Hid Half of Myself for 20 Years: Here’s What It Cost My Clients✨
Issue: Many healers, practitioners and sensitive women carry two versions of themselves. The one the world finds acceptable, and the one they keep quiet.
Problem: When you split yourself in half, the people who need you most only receive part of what you can offer. The results are partial. Not because the method fails, but because the method is being withheld.
Solution: Integration of science and spirit, of the clinical and the intuitive, of the visible and the hidden, is not just a personal act. It is a professional responsibility. What you integrate within yourself becomes the medicine you can offer others.
Key insight: Your clients are not waiting for a safer, more acceptable version of you. They are waiting for the whole of you.
There is a version of you that shows up, and a version you keep quiet.
You may know something before the evidence confirms it. A pattern you see in someone before the bloodwork shows anything. A sense that is sharp and certain — older than your training, inherited from somewhere deeper.
And you mention it partially. Leave out the rest.
I did this for 20 years.
For most of my career, I showed up as the naturopath. She spoke about inflammation markers, gut-brain signalling, and mitochondrial function. She had biomedical science qualifications and used the language people trusted.
The shamanic healer waited in the car.
The split
The science made sense to me. I believed in it and I still do. The biological foundation is non-negotiable.
But I was also seeing things the science could not explain.
Energy patterns moving around a woman’s body before the bloodwork confirmed anything. Ancestral grief sits in the cellular memory of someone’s liver. Knowing when a hormonal collapse had nothing to do with hormones. Soul contracts that keep people stuck in loops that no amount of herbs or supplements can shift.
For a long time, I thought I had to choose.
Science or spirit. Credibility or intuition. Naturopath or shamanic healer.
So I hid the shamanic side. I talked about nervous system regulation without mentioning the energetic clearing required to actually hold it. Addressed gut inflammation without naming the solar plexus chakra blocks that contribute to digestive dysfunction. Helped women restore hormonal balance while quietly releasing the ancestral persecution wounds, dysregulating their entire endocrine system.
I was doing the full work. But only naming half of it.
Because I was afraid. Afraid of being dismissed and losing credibility. I was afraid that if I spoke the full truth of how I worked, people would think I was too woo, not scientific enough, and making things up.
What that cost, not me, but my clients
I made a quiet decision, which I suspect you have as well.
Gave people the half of me that was acceptable.
And here is what that cost, not me, but my clients. They got partial results, not because the method failed. Because I was withholding it.
The women who were not fully healing were not resistant. They were waiting for the part of me I had not offered yet.
The women who needed me most were searching for exactly what I was hiding.
They had tried conventional medicine. It helped, but not enough. They had tried alternative healing. It shifted things, but not completely. They needed someone who could see both.
The gut inflammation and the ancestral grief. The nervous system dysregulation and the soul contract. The hormonal chaos and the energetic depletion.
They needed the whole picture. And I could not give it to them while hiding half of myself.
The question that changed everything
A journalist from Canvas Rebel recently asked me: “How did you bridge science and spirit?”
I had to sit with why that question felt so exposing.
Because the honest answer was not just about a bridge. It was about stopping the split.
I realised that integration is everything. Not just in healing work, but in life.
You can’t split yourself in half and expect to thrive. Can’t hide your gifts and wonder why you are not reaching the people who need you. You cannot play small in one area of your life and expect to expand in another.
What you integrate within yourself becomes your medicine for others.
My clients do not come to me despite the fact that I am both a scientist and a shaman. They come to me because I am both. Because they need someone who will not dismiss their physical symptoms as just emotional. And will not bypass their spiritual blocks by just taking these supplements.
They need the whole picture.
What I claimed when I stopped hiding
The Alkymia Method™ is what happened when I stopped hiding.
When I finally claimed the full truth of how I work, three layers came together:
Naturopathy — biological restoration of the gut, the nervous system, hormones, and the cellular blueprint.
Energy medicine — ancestral and karmic clearing, releasing what has been held in the field across generations and lifetimes.
Shamanic healing — soul retrieval, timeline work, and medicine wheel mastery that restores what has been lost, fragmented, or given away.
All three. Not one or the other. All three simultaneously.
Because that is what creates lasting transformation. Not symptom suppression. Not spiritual bypassing. Complete cellular, energetic and soul-level restoration.
This is energy alchemy in its fullest expression. The transmutation of what has been split, hidden or suppressed into sovereign, luminous, embodied wholeness.
While we can say we want enlightenment, we often romanticise it. My own experience, and those of others I have supported, is that enlightenment is a painful process.
“It is the death of the old self and in the constant stripping away and revealing of Truth we can drop into the pain body. But always on the other side of the surrender process, there is gold. The light shines on what has been uncovered, which is deeper strength, purpose and passion.” Mariangela Parodi
Read the full Canvas Rebel interview
Canvas Rebel Magazine features creatives, innovators, authors and entrepreneurs on their personal journeys, creative processes, challenges and achievements.
In the full interview, I share:
- How I went from hiding my shamanic gifts to claiming them fully
- The moment I realised I could not serve my clients while hiding half of myself
- Why integration rather than separation is the key to transformation
- What the Alkymia Method™ actually is and how it works
- The vulnerable truth about building a practice that bridges two worlds
Read the full Canvas Rebel interview here
Is this your story too?
Did you recognise yourself somewhere in this post? Is there a version of you that shows up, and a version you keep quiet? I want you to know something.
The gifts you are hiding are not too much. They are not unprofessional, they are the medicine.
The women who are not yet fully healing are not resistant to change. They may simply be waiting for the part of you that you have not offered yet.
And if you are on the other side of this, if you are the woman who has been receiving partial healing and sensing there is more available, you are right. There is.
The Alkymia Method™ exists for you. The full picture, nothing withheld.
If you have been searching for a practitioner who sees all of you? The biological, the energetic, and the soul level are addresses with equal rigour and reverence. I invite you to take the next step.
Read the FAQ to understand how I work, or book your session directly below.
Continue reading:
- When Your Body Says No — the turning point that changed everything
- Honoured as an ATMS Legend — 30 years of bridging science and soul
- Women Inspiring Women — on what it means to lead from lived experience
With radiant love and steady presence,
Rewrite your cellular and soul blueprint, gifts, health & biz
Rise, Remember, Radiate ❤️
Mariangela Parodi BAppSc, ND
Mariangela Parodi BAppSc, ND is a Naturopath & Energy Healer based in Hobart, Tasmania. Specialising in nervous system recovery for women when exhaustion, overwhelm, or depletion no longer responds to rest. With over 30 years of experience in biomedical science, naturopathy, energy medicine, and shamanic healing. She bridges science and spirit to restore the body’s innate intelligence and rewrite the cellular blueprint.
The creator of the Alkymia Method™, a sacred fusion of naturopathy, energy medicine, and shamanic healing. #1 international bestselling author of The Mystic Woman’s Compass. Mariangela guides heart-centred healers and conscious leaders to transmute exhaustion, illness, and spiritual disconnection into sovereignty, vitality, and luminous purpose.
ATMS Fellow | Spiritual Biz Award Recipient | Featured in Aspire Magazine, Canvas Rebel, Hobart Magazine & Spiritual Biz Magazine | The Legends Series Podcast. Hobart & Online | alkymia.com.au
✨ P.S. Whenever you’re ready to rise, remember, and radiate, here are three luminous ways I can support your evolution:
1. Begin with The Mystic Woman’s Compass 📖
For the sensitives, intuitives, and deep-feelers who are ready to remember who they truly are, The Mystic Woman’s Compass is a sacred guide home to purpose and inner light. Through story and soul medicine, it illuminates the pathway from wounding to wisdom.
Available directly from me, or through Amazon (paperback, hardcover, or Kindle).
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Join me for luminous transmissions, healing activations, and embodied teachings to nourish your nervous system and awaken your cellular light. Your body is luminous biology; every cell emits a living field of light intelligence.
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3. Work with me — through courses or private mentorship 🌙
When you’re ready to embody your luminous potential, you can join a group healing course or work privately with me to integrate the next evolution of your healing gifts.
These experiences merge science, shamanism, and soul, awakening vitality, sovereignty, and radiance.
💫 Discover your next step → book your session.
